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The most expensive things at Amazon

nrrd on #memepool and I were looking up some expensive things on Amazon, and I felt a blog post coming on, so here you have it: the most expensive things in every Amazon category.

Books: Super Bowl Opus MVP Edition (Leather Bound), $40,000 (with free shipping!). The second-most expensive “book” is a $12,000 collection of 201 psychology books.

DVDs: Mapping Your Value Stream, $280. DVDs are the great equalizer, apparently. This is a business logistics course on DVD. I stand corrected: Essential Art House – 50 Years of Janus Films, a 50-DVD collection for $764.99. Still, that’s only $15 per DVD!

Music: Luminous Arc: Music from the game, $6,442.99. The soundtrack to a Nintendo DS game that’s going to be released later this year.

Magazines: Comprehensive Data Base of US Chemical Patents. 12 months for $71,722. I knew this would end up being something other than what normal people consider magazines.

Toys: A city-park-size playground system for $32,229.59. The most expensive toy for a single child is an electric monster truck for $13,800. For that I bet the kid would have more fun with a real, yet not monster, truck.

Video games: A Playstation 3 60GB bundle for $799. No surprise there.

Audio-Video Electronics: A grandfather clock for $12,463.50. You were expecting a big TV? You’re wondering why a grandfather clock is Audio-Video Electronics? How about that.

Camera and Photo: A high-speed sheet-feed scanner for $14,805. I’m really surprised there’s no actual camera equipment up in that range.

Musical Instruments: Gulbransen Bottle Organ, $33,150. Now that’s the kind of thing I want to see as the most expensive thing in a category! The runners-up here are big outdoor searchlights, like you’d expect at a theatre opening, and a $17,500 violin-playing robot.

Electronics: HP StorageWorks SDLT Tape Library, $351,816. 400 tapes, 16 drives, 3.2TB capacity.

Computers and PC Hardware: The same HP tape library. Clearly no-one is paying attention to the category names at Amazon, what with this and the grandfather clock.

Office supplies: The same stupid tape library. #2 is an online coffee and chocolate business for sale for $55,000 (one used or new, hah).

Computer software: Cisco Security Agent, 100-license pack, for $64,274.84. Please excuse the computer-related doldrums, it gets more interesting shortly.

Automotive: A JIC EK2D1-TI res Spartan DE Type 1 TI Exhaust System for a 2dr 1996-2000 Honda Civic for… $891,480. I don’t understand either. #2 is an actual physical auto parts store for sale for $750,000.

Industrial and Scientific: a 3-Axis CNC Milling Machine for $22,195. From the photo I see that this is the thing you strap Bond to when you expect him to die.

Tools and Hardware: The number 9, for $254,623. So far I’ve been leaving out things that were mis-entered but that one was too weird not to share. The most expensive correctly-entered thing in this category is a $81,890 Thawzall construction site heater, although there’s also a notable $60,000 chandelier.

Gourmet Food: 4 lbs Russian Beluga Caviar for $10,560. I was expecting something even more ridiculous, but ok.

Grocery: Skin cream for $340, but that’s boring. How about 25 lbs of Altoids for $337? 22 lbs of chocolate powder for $313? (Gourmet Food and Grocery? Classist!)

Pet Supplies: Giant parrot cage for $3886.61. The cage is big. Standard parrots.

Bed and Bath: Egyptian cotton eiderdown comforter, $9435.99.

Fresh Flowers and Plants: 12 months of roses for $495. I think they’d get old fast.

Furniture & Décor: “Goddard replica“, $9,999,999. I’m not sure what it’s a replica of, but I’m betting it’s not the entire space research complex. If that seems a bit too much, then there’s a $999,999 space rock paperweight. Incidentally Amazon themselves put the accent on the “e” in “Décor”.

(Right now I’m going “Holy cow, why did I start this? And why am I continuing?” But continue I do, for you, the reader.)

Home and Garden: Like a crazy top-ten list, this gets us the Goddard replica, the space rock paperweight, and the number 9! Other than those, there’s a $99,999 solar cell and an $85,000 antique 1840s Russian glass paperweight.

Outdoor Living: 10×18 Log Wedding Chapel with Wooden Roof, $20,319.97. Now this is the kind of ridiculous-but-not-impossible thing I wanted to find on a list of Amazon’s most expensive things. But a wedding chapel really ought to cost twenty grand, right? So there’s also a $14,662 barbecue grill that you could use beside your $13,997 tiki hut.

Apparel: Space suit, $999,999. I think they’re pulling my leg, though, so skipping over the jewelry that is in the wrong category, we have a $40,000 fur coat from WEBFURS. You know, if you’d asked me what WEBFURS was, I wouldn’t have guessed “fur coat company”.

Jewelry and Watches: This category got things started on IRC! #1 is a 7.12 carat diamond for $495,830. But that’s only potential jewelry, so there’s also a $225,000 Cartier tank watch with diamond band. Would you believe that the movement on that Cartier is quartz?

Shoes: Dolce and Gabbana boots, $1,596. That was disappointing.

Beauty: a Nicole Chignon Swarovski hairbun holder for $1700 which is clearly not a beauty product. #2 is a limited-edition 15ml bottle of Lalique Deux Coeurs perfume for $1600.

Health and Personal Care: 24-station home fitness centre, $39,999.

Kids and Baby: Grim Reaper on Skeleton Horseback Lifesize Prop, $2,995. In case your kids were turning out too well-adjusted.

Baby (which is apparently subtly different from “Kids and Baby”): Kensington traditional pram, $2,995. Boy, tough call between that and the grim reaper.

Exercise and Fitness: The same fitness centre as in Health and Personal Care. A bit down the list is a $25,187 jacuzzi spa with built-in flat panel TV.

Sporting Goods: Football arcade game, with real football-throwing, for $88,550. #2 is an extremely dorky golf cart for $77,988.

Thank God, it’s done. That was a lot of work with remarkably few lols. Ah, well, now you know not to try it yourselves!

(Edit: I’ve been linked from The Consumerist and Boing Boing! Hello, new people! And hello, mefites!)

Rich

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62 responses to “The most expensive things at Amazon”

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  1. Does anyone actually buy any of this crap from Amazon? And if not, why the hell is Amazon listing it?

  4. Melissa: I think most of them are listed by third-party sellers. I suppose if you’re listing anything you might as well list everything!

    Karl: HOLY COW GIANT BOOK. I should try to get it via interlibrary loan.

  6. High-end camera equipment will be more than one piece to get a useful set of gear. So, for example, a camera kit[1], an extra film magazine, and a second lens gets you to a nice tidy $12,500 pretty quick…

    [1] $6,999.00, discounted from 6,999.95! You save $0.95!

  7. Yeah, I was just surprised that they didn’t have listed some crazy medium- or large-format kit for which individual components were in the $12k range, or something even more crazy for 35mm like Canon’s $80,000 1200mm lens.

  9. Well, when I searched for Hasselblad I was actually looking for something like the Mega-Vision Digital Back, which retails for more than marginally more than the best selling cars.

    I’m actually kindof surprised B&H doesn’t list their inventory on amazon, but I guess they’re a big enough name in photography that it’s worth not doing so to avoid brand dilution.

  10. Most Expensive Items on Amazon.com, by Category…

    Rich Lafferty, clearly a man with as much talent as he has time, decided it was his civic duty to determine the most expensive item in each and every Amazon.com category. Some favorites: Music: Luminous Arc: Music from the game,……

  11. I’ve seen items from Adorama listed on Amazon.com. However, their (and B&H’s) practice of closing on Jewish holidays might be an issue with some customers.

  18. I just know you are doing this so you will just maybe actually help sell some of these and get a very hefty commission, rictex-20! :-)

  19. Dan: Just one 9 and I’m set!

    Actually, I just set that up an hour ago, because I’d be kicking myself if someone bought something through there and I hadn’t!

  20. Maybe it’s just the conspiracy theorist in me, but I bet a lot of those crazy-expensive things are money laundering schemes of some sort.

  23. How about the cheapest things (actually sold by Amazon and eligable for free shipping)? I’m often looking to pad out a $24 order to that I can get free shipping, but it is hard to find really low cost items that are actually sold by amazon. A while back Amazon sold wall switch covers for 19 cents each, but they are no longer listed.

    Anyone else have some low cost suggestions?

    – Kerry

  24. Electronics: HP StorageWorks SDLT Tape Library, $351,816. 400 tapes, 16 drives, 3.2TB capacity.

    They must be kidding. $350,000 and change for only 3.2TB? Buy 7 * 750GB hard drives and a RAID6 card and you already have more capacity than that – total cost maybe $4000. Plus you get redundancy AND random access to boot. I nominate that item for “most ridiculously overpriced item in this already ridiculous and overpriced list”.

  25. Kerry, I’ve bought several Books and CD’s for a penny from Amazon marketplaces. I’ve always felt a bit guilty when this happens. I guess they’re loss leaders for new sites to get their feedback built-up. I’ve always been happy with the products, too.

    Thanks for this list. You’ve been insta-launched, btw.

  26. I have to admit…the Grim Reaper on the horse really intrigues me! It would look stunning in my living room. :-D

    Great list! Thanks for the hard work at throwing it together!

  28. There is actually a positive review for the Grim Reaper. The guy says he put it in his kids room, but “lost it in the move.” How do you loose a life-sized grim reaper?

  31. I’l buy that for a $1, give or take a million…

    The most expensive things at Amazon. Your own spacecraft, anyone?…

  38. Duurste dingen op Amazon…

    Een boek voor 40.000 dollar of een trouwkapel voor 20.000. Liever een horloge, voor net geen half miljoen ben jij de gelukkige eigenaar van een 7.12 caraat diamanten klokje…

  39. The Cartier watch is, of course, quartz movement. I used to sell TAG Heuer watches, most of which use quartz movements. Automatic movements are a status symbol, but to get certification from the Swiss Chronograph Institute, they only have to be accurate to +5 -4 minutes a month. This means that it will loose or gain time EVERY DAY. Rolex and Patec Phillipe movements tend to be more accurate, but most luxury watches nowadays are quartz simply because of accuracy. A side note – any Swiss watch you buy with a quartz movement, look at the hour hand. If it has what looks like a Mercedes symbol near the point, you are paying an arse-load of money for a Swatch movement.

  40. […] (that someone would be Rich over at {richtext}) thinking about all the legitimate (up for debate) expensive stuff they got going on over at Amazon and he came up with a list. Go take a look and see what you want to add to your Amazon wish […]

  44. Don’t forget the number 9 can also be used as a number 6! So you’re really getting more for the money, right?

  45. Interesting to note that traffic to Amazon through this site and BoingBoing has been so strong that it set off Amazon’s click-association trackers. When I was looking at the football video game, all the “related” items that Amazon suggested to me were also from this list.

  47. […] There are some truly bizarre items for sale on Amazon, and some of them are even more bizarrely priced. I can understand a violin playing robot costing $17,500, but I cannot explain how an exhaust system for my car (a 2 door Honda Civic from 1999) could cost $891,480. Some of these products must be mistakes, such as a number 9 costing $254,623, and as such they will probably be taken down soon. So catch these amazingly expensive products whilst you can. […]

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