I used to say all kinds of things to my rats. On Melissa and Aki, who were my favorites, I used a lot of superlatives, often as substantive nouns: “Hey nicest, hey softest, who is best?” Because Melissa’s name means “sweetest girl” and she was albino the comparison to sugar seemed obvious, therefore “My little sugar cube” and similar. I also for some reason love the word doe and took every opportunity to use it on them. “You’re a DOE!” “Who is my doe?” and, when holding more than one in my hands at once, “Does, DOES!” like a mad scientist.
Also, because I am a dork, when they were using me as a jungle gym (a frequent occurrence) I would often cry out “Oh my God, rats, THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!” in mock horror.
Lastly, I became fascinated by rat anatomy and various rat facts, and would croon them at my girls very often. “Who can’t see color? Yoooooou can’t!” Aki’s final illness lasted a long time, a rare thing in rats, and toward the end she could barely move. I would place her on my bed and have conversations with her: “Did you know that you have twelve mammae? It’s true! Twelve mammae means you win!” In response she would groom me.
TEH WINNAR IS RAT. I think i would have a hard time not going “Rat rat rat RAT! Rat rat rat.” to rats. Or calling them mice or hamsters, just to get them riled up a bit.
in my final year at university, there were pet rats in the house. they weren’t mine thought. i used to refer to them as the rasin-devouring-collective, or furry cage ornaments, depending on how i felt at the time. they liked being pointed at, i have no idea why, and i could get all 4 to line up at the cage, by pointing at them from outside, going “you’re a rat, you’re a rate and you’re a rat, and you’re a rat”. i think they were expecting food, and they usually got it, becuase i think they’re cute holding stuff in their little paws.
i showed their owner why engine cylinders in a 4 cylinder engine run 1 3 2 4, not 1 2 3 4 using this pointing technique, and having them all fall over backwards in turn when pointed at 1 2 3 4, rather than 1 3 2 4 :)
Ben talks to our gerbils mostly in French. He also likes to call them “cute little rats”. This disturbs me, because although I love gerbils, rats creep me out.
I usually just say things like “hey! hey! heeey!” and things like “no, no, don’t go up my sleeve!”
“Hey dummy, you lost your 4th leg.”
Miss Midnite, in a cutesy tone that almost always guarantees a reply. That’s about as exciting as it gets.
6 responses to “silly pet talk”
I used to say all kinds of things to my rats. On Melissa and Aki, who were my favorites, I used a lot of superlatives, often as substantive nouns: “Hey nicest, hey softest, who is best?” Because Melissa’s name means “sweetest girl” and she was albino the comparison to sugar seemed obvious, therefore “My little sugar cube” and similar. I also for some reason love the word doe and took every opportunity to use it on them. “You’re a DOE!” “Who is my doe?” and, when holding more than one in my hands at once, “Does, DOES!” like a mad scientist.
Also, because I am a dork, when they were using me as a jungle gym (a frequent occurrence) I would often cry out “Oh my God, rats, THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!” in mock horror.
Lastly, I became fascinated by rat anatomy and various rat facts, and would croon them at my girls very often. “Who can’t see color? Yoooooou can’t!” Aki’s final illness lasted a long time, a rare thing in rats, and toward the end she could barely move. I would place her on my bed and have conversations with her: “Did you know that you have twelve mammae? It’s true! Twelve mammae means you win!” In response she would groom me.
TEH WINNAR IS RAT. I think i would have a hard time not going “Rat rat rat RAT! Rat rat rat.” to rats. Or calling them mice or hamsters, just to get them riled up a bit.
in my final year at university, there were pet rats in the house. they weren’t mine thought. i used to refer to them as the rasin-devouring-collective, or furry cage ornaments, depending on how i felt at the time. they liked being pointed at, i have no idea why, and i could get all 4 to line up at the cage, by pointing at them from outside, going “you’re a rat, you’re a rate and you’re a rat, and you’re a rat”. i think they were expecting food, and they usually got it, becuase i think they’re cute holding stuff in their little paws.
i showed their owner why engine cylinders in a 4 cylinder engine run 1 3 2 4, not 1 2 3 4 using this pointing technique, and having them all fall over backwards in turn when pointed at 1 2 3 4, rather than 1 3 2 4 :)
Ben talks to our gerbils mostly in French. He also likes to call them “cute little rats”. This disturbs me, because although I love gerbils, rats creep me out.
I usually just say things like “hey! hey! heeey!” and things like “no, no, don’t go up my sleeve!”
“Hey dummy, you lost your 4th leg.”
Miss Midnite, in a cutesy tone that almost always guarantees a reply. That’s about as exciting as it gets.